Submitting the work came to be a problem since the sight seems to be under construction or work of some kind and submissions are not being taken. The piece was still a lot of fun to do though and I am glad I worked on it even though it didn't become a piece of group art.
So the next project I decided to take part in was the Johnny Cash project http://www.thejohnnycashproject.com/. This project was quite a lot of fun. I made a piece of artwork on frame #625. It took me a bit to get used to the controls, especially because I was working on a PC and not a MAC ( total MAC person)!!! The piece turned out to be kind of abstract and even a bit pop in a way. I worked with brush size, and mixing the white and dark in patterned way. I still haven't heard whether or not my work was approved for the project but I did receive confirmation that the work had been successfully submitted. Really cool to think that my piece is could be a part of ongoing work celebrating Johnny Cash and his life.
Speaking of celebration this leads into the third work I decided to try to participate in, the Iraqi Memorial project http://www.iraqimemorial.org/. This project was the most personal for me. I lost my father in 1994 and I went back and forth deciding whether or not to submit this idea I had. Memorials are a serious thing and I was so afraid I shouldn't enter for fear that my idea would be stupid or disrespectful or just flat out rejected. But this is a final so I decided to push myself and go in there and submit my idea anyways because at least it would be mine and a piece of me, and a piece of someone I had lost. So my memorial idea is a celebratory idea as well as a fundraiser for those less fortunate. I call the concept A Scoop to Remember. The concept comes from the memories I have of my father, my family and myself sharing ice cream together. Whenever I have ice cream I am nostalgic about the past and all of those simple happy times I shared with my father and ice cream. I thought it would be fun to have a national memorial on National Ice Cream Day (held the third Sunday in July). Families of loved ones lost in America could come together in remembrance and order a scoop of their loved ones favorite flavor at participating creameries. Then all proceeds made from the scoops sold would go to help the families of innocent Iraqi civilians that have also been affected and devastated by the war over in Iraq. The concept would be a gesture, a remembrance, and a memorialized fundraiser that would function to encourage the mission statement and guidelines that the memorial project suggests.
I put a great deal of thought into this particular project and kind of put my heart out there. I ended up wishing that I hadn't. I was under the impression that the project didn't have any restrictions and that all submissions as long as they followed the guidelines of the project were supposed to be welcomed no matter whether they were tangible or conceptual. I made a mistake and only submitted my concept, and my concept was rejected. I know that my idea was small but it was just an idea, a part of me. One I spent a great deal of time formulating. I needed to have spent more time actually creating and selling the concept visually by using the tools I have learned throughout the class to really make my concept sellable. But the project and my idea was unsuccessful because my idea was rejected because it wasn't good enough. I just hope I didn't offend anybody by putting my stupid idea out there, I guess I just didn't get it. I wish I would have put more time into this project instead of working on all those other projects that in the end weren't workable projects anymore, but I didn't know that until after I had spent all the time making them.
The last project I decided to participate in was the Learning to Love You More project http://learningtoloveyoumore.com/index.php. I decided to participate in #65, performing the phone call you wish you could have. I wrote the piece and entitled it A Phone Call to the Mother I Have Never Met. This piece is an outlined phone call of the conversation I have never had with my biological mother. I was adopted and have always imagined what that phone call would be like. I have never made that call, and I do not know her. I imagined what it would be like to finally ask those questions out loud. And so I asked them out loud. I spoke about finally knowing where I come from, and knowing who I come from. Would I be rejected, would she want to be my friend? Was I loved so much that I was given up to have something better, a better life, a life that she knew she couldn't give me? Was I hated? Was I an embarrassment? Was I given up because I was a horrible, terrible mistake? Would she be happy to answer that call, or would she hang up? I have never had enough nerve to ever find out, but I like to think that she loved me so much that she performed the most selfless act of her life and gave me up for something better. I wonder if she ever thinks of me, or wonders who I am and who I have become? Someday I might call her, and thank her and really ask her all of these questions that I've always had.
When I went to submit the recording of the phone call, I found that the project was no longer taking submissions. I felt a little disappointed because I think it would have been a good one. I guess this was also an unsuccessful project.
My final project ended up, on a whole being fairly unsuccessful. I felt my heart was in the right place, and that conceptually I had put quite a lot into four of the six projects offered for our final. Realistically, other than the Johnny Cash project, none of them really came to fruition or were participatory in any way. Perhaps I should have focused on one and done that one really well. Maybe I am too afraid of what being an artist really means. It means working with mediums that are new and unfamiliar, working with people you don't know, and putting your soul out there for everyone to see and judge, whether they like you or not, whether they understand your work or not, and not caring because your work is yours and for yourself anyways. This class has pushed me in so so many ways and I am really proud of what I have accomplished. I learned so many new things and finished so many projects that I was scared of at first, but ended up being really proud of. This class has changed me and though I know I am not meant to be an artist, I am proud of how far I have come. I realize also that even though I tried four different projects for the final, I failed dismally in fulfilling the final project guidelines.
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